The woman has no chill when it comes to chlorine — “You should really have her in swimming lessons, you know?” Oh, sweet badger of fucks. Here we go. Trying hard not to roll my eyes and use a sarcastic tone, I replied, “Why is that?” My friend, Nicola took her eyes off her crazed two-year-old who was hitting another child…

The petty interactions carry more meaning than they seem — “Look how cute it is!” I lifted my heavy eyes to look at her again. “Yes, it’s cute,” I huffed out. It would be cuter if you went home. She beamed at me with that twinkle in her eye. That twinkle that appeared when she knew her game was working…

She used them to do many disturbing things — Two months ago, my brother gifted a play toolkit to my daughter for her second birthday. It contained a plastic hammer, screwdriver, and handsaw among other things I didn’t recognize. Like some ruler looking motherfucker. He claimed that she had “too many pink, princessy toys” and that she needed to…

Trouble found us after mixing alcohol, ego, and bad decisions — “Why do you always sign us up for every crazy event? Not everything we do needs to be some wild adventure!” He stormed into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. I knew I’d messed up this time. Ben didn’t get angry often but he was definitely angry now. I…

Apparently, that’s the way to get it done — “Did you get it yet?” “Yes, it came today. Thank you!” I said with fake enthusiasm. That’s an appropriate phone call length. Pretty sure I can hang up now. “And you got the money?” She asked. “I got the money. Thank you, Dor…Grandma,” I stuttered. Shit. Keep it together. My…

An adventure gone wrong, and it was our fault — “We should get back in the Land Rover,” I repeated. My statement fell on deaf ears. Again. “Let’s just get a little closer,” said Andy. “Shit! This camera is amazing. These photos are great!” Ryan exclaimed. Idiots. I rolled my eyes and placed my hands on my hips, cursing the…

A gift I will treasure forever — “Mum-Mum,” she said as she rammed the pink-wrapped gift into my ribs. Fucks sake. “Thanks, Sweetie,” I choked out as I clutched my throbbing side. “Mum-Mum, open!” My two-year-old daughter demanded. Then, just like the rest of my birthday presents, she ripped off the wrapping paper. Thankfully, it was one…

But I desperately wanted to go — Each time I looked at her, she was angrily sipping on her water, clenching her straw, and slamming her cup down. The small table between us divided us, just like our opinions. I sat patiently, waiting for her response. Two minutes went by. I took the time to think about…

If only I had remembered her name — “Hi! Thanks for calling Slice Hair Salon. My name is Lauren, how can I help you?” By creating an online system to book appointments so introverts like myself don’t have three hours of anxiety before making this phone call. “Hi! Can I make an appointment for a cut please?” I…