HUMOR
A Freeloader Ruined My Face
I regret getting crafty with her
The local library my two-year-old daughter and I attend occasionally when all our regular cocktail bars are closed, is a soccer mom’s paradise.
The bright paint, lively displays, and the “I volunteer at six frog hospitals” vibe that the librarian gives make for a not-so-great time. The minivans with sparkly stickered windows roll up fifteen minutes early to the library’s toddler time, vomiting enthusiasm and smiles.
Every month, the library has a competition for children. Something bookish or crafty, and the winner’s work is displayed in the entrance as a reminder to the rest of us that we are worthless.
Since we don’t attend the library regularly, I have a great nonparticipating streak, however, my daughter felt that it was time to crush my spirit. The competition prize of stickers and a Boeing 747 was apparently too much to pass up.
This month’s competition demanded a family portrait made from crafts with no use of photographs.
Which is a blessing. Our selfies are a blurred mess of eyeballs and teeth.
When I visited the library under duress a few days ago, many family portraits were already sitting proudly on top of the bookcases.
