HUMOR
Can I Make an Appointment Or Shall I Just Die?
My existence seems to upset you
“This is an automated message. If you are dying or completely fucked up, please call 911. If you are in emergencyish condition, please go to your nearest Emergency Room. If you wish to make an appointment with your doctor, please use the online system located on our website and never ever call us again you dumb fuck.”
An obnoxious beep molested my ear hole and I hung up the phone.
Apparently, my doctor’s office really likes it when I call them.
Sighing, I pulled up the website on my phone and located the “If you really, really have to make an appointment because you’re an annoying piece of shaft, click here” icon.
Luckily for me, I am a piece of shaft.
The screen read, “Please log in to make an appointment.”
After sixteen attempts to remember my password, (adding a number one and an exclamation point to the name of each pet I’ve ever had), I reset my password. It only involved sending them a small slice of my liver and attending a negotiation meeting with the Norwegian embassy.
Finally, I logged in.
