HUMOR
Giving Her Tools Was a Big Mistake
She used them to do many disturbing things
Two months ago, my brother gifted a play toolkit to my daughter for her second birthday. It contained a plastic hammer, screwdriver, and handsaw among other things I didn’t recognize.
Like some ruler looking motherfucker.
He claimed that she had “too many pink, princessy toys” and that she needed to learn to “take care of herself” so she didn’t end up like me, who apparently, “can’t hang a picture without a man’s help.”
Fucking weasel.
I thanked him for the gift and reminded him that he was the one who had to Google what “white coffee” meant not too long ago.
Then I asked him to hang a picture.
Sucker.
My daughter took little notice of the toolkit.
Until now.
A few days ago, I saw her drag the toolkit out of her toy chest and wrestle with the little yellow case, trying to open it. When I approached to help, she screamed at me.
I sprayed her with holy water and lay on the couch to read the Bible.
It was more werewolf smut than Bible. Pretty sure werewolves and their fuck buddies scare away demons anyway.
