He Infiltrated My Afternoon With Geese Vaginas

It seemed to make him happy

Claire Franky
5 min readJun 3, 2024


Photo by Aurélien Lemasson-Théobald on Unsplash

“Is Dorothy here?”

I studied the man who stood before me in the doorway. He was particularly tall and rather slim, likely in his fifties. He wore green rain boots, a green jacket, and a brown flat cap on top of his small head.

Rather like someone who dry-humps tractors.

“Erm, yeah,” I said, trying to keep my face expressionless.

“Grandma,” I called over my shoulder.

“There is no cake. A moment on the lips is forever on the hips,” Grandma yelled from the kitchen.

What the actual fuck?


“No,” I called back, as I gave her the bitch squint. “There is someone here for you.”

“It’s Trevor,” the man interjected.

Of course, it is.

“Oh, Trevor,” Grandma shouted. “Would you like some cake?”


My lips fell into a bratty pout as my grandmother rounded the corner into the hallway and approached me and the tractor fuck at the front door.

“Trevor! Good to see you,” she smiled as she stepped to him and gave him a brief hug.