MARRIED TO AN ADDICT

He Won’t Stop Until He’s Taken Everything From Me

He’s desperate enough to keep trying

Claire Franky
3 min readJan 22, 2024

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Photo by Diego San on Unsplash

Wedged between the back of my nightstand and the wall was a small, blue bag. It was thin with a zip. No one could see it back there. Not unless they pulled the nightstand out.

Some days the bag was deep in a wicker vase containing artificial flowers next to the dining table. Some days it was placed between folded towels on the shelf in the bathroom. Some days the bag was zipped inside the cover of a throw cushion in the living room.

Moving it regularly was necessary.

I always took the bag with me when I left the house. I had to — it contained all of my debit cards, credit cards, checkbook, and valuable jewelry including my grandmother’s wedding ring that she had left to me in her will.

He’d tried to take all of those things.

He would look in my car and my purse during the day. If I left the house, I’d come home to messy kitchen cabinets and my clothes unfolded in their drawers. At night I heard him popping open DVD cases and thudding books on the bookcase.

I began to understand how desperate an addict can be.

It didn’t take long for me to realize he’d blown through his money, our savings, his cashed-in pension, money gifted to our baby, money from his family, money stolen from his employer, and had started on the money from my paychecks. So I moved the rest of my money to a separate account and used most of it to leave him.

Once I moved back to my home country, I canceled my American credit cards and solo bank accounts. I canceled subscriptions and automatic payments and started fresh with new accounts, email addresses, and passwords.

I wouldn’t let him take anything else from me.

After multiple discussions about child support, he did nothing to contribute to our child’s upbringing. When he came into some money, I asked him to buy some clothes and books for her. No money, clothes, or books ever came.

Finally, our house sold. The house filled with deceit. He tried to stop me from taking my half, from taking any of the profit. In his eyes, I…

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