HUMOR AND DESPAIR

Her Child Disappeared But at Least She Got a Tan

Nothing was interrupting beach day

Photo by Josh Duke on Unsplash

“You need to put your hat on.”

“No!” My two year old shouted before sticking out her bottom lip.

“Ok,” I sighed. “I guess we’ll have to go home.”

“No. Why, Mummy?” She groaned.

“Because the sun is out and it’s very hot. You have to wear a hat at the beach on sunny days,” I replied as I filled the elephant bucket with sand.

There was a brief pause before she said, “Mummy no hat on.”

Fuck.

“That’s because Mummy can’t pull off a hat, Sweetheart.”

My friend, Lucy sniggered.

“No, Mummy definitely can’t pull off a hat,” she said, not bothering to open her eyes as she lay on her beach towel next to us.

Hopefully, burning. Knob.

“Me not wear hat!” My toddler said as she stamped her feet into the sand.

I pulled her onto my lap and laid down some science shit which may or may not have been correct and then planted the hat on her head.

“Come on, help me with the sandcastle,” I said, handing her a pink spade and bucket. “If we finish…