HUMOR

I Chased a Little Bitch

It didn’t go as planned

Claire Franky
3 min readMay 30, 2024

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Photo by Dulcey Lima on Unsplash

I closed my eyes as the sun shone down on me, warming my skin. A gentle breeze danced around me, tousling my long curls. The sound of birds chirping nearby echoed in my head. I took a long, deep inhale and fell into a fucking pothole.

“Dick!” I yelled at the hole in the road.

(There was no dick in it. It wasn’t that kind of hole.)

“Ow!” I yelled again as Sammy, my dog strode by me with a large stick in his mouth, smacking the back of my knee with it.

Fucking nature accessories.

As I looked over my shoulder to catch a glimpse of the muddy stick mark on my leg, a bee appeared in my face doing that buzzy shit they do.

“Ahh,” I screamed and ran after Sammy who was oblivious to my existence.

It’s too outsidy. I tried. Let’s go home and shut all the curtains.

“Sammy, let’s go back,” I called to him and gently tugged his leash.

After giving me the side eye, he threw himself onto the grass along the side of the walking path and rolled onto his back.

I sighed and allowed my head to fall back as I groaned into the sky. Then I felt it. A presence.

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