WORKPLACE ABSURDITY
I Don’t Want to Buy My Coworker a Dumb Coat
Buy your own fucking coat
I was yawning into my cup of coffee and strolling down the hallway to my office when I heard her humming around the corner.
Fuck that. Not today!
I looked left. I looked right. I looked left again because I wasn’t paying attention the first time, and spotted a closet door standing open. Quickly, I slipped inside.
As I waited for her to pass, I sipped my coffee.
Then spat it back into the cup because I forgot that coffee tastes like old dick.
After waiting a few seconds, I heard her walking away so I peeked out of the door to check it was safe.
Ratilda was skipping away into the distance, sadly to be seen again.
Ratilda and I worked in different departments but she often visited our department and every other department in the building to annoy the shit out of everyone.
She talked about herself endlessly in a victimy type of way that made me wish to be devoured by an eagle. Her life was full of ups and downs just like everyone else but she found something to complain about constantly.
