HUMOR
I Had a Break Down Before Breakfast
Being a single, working mom is easy
The sharp knife sliced through the pear, hitting the wooden cutting block underneath. I chopped quickly, creating thin slices that I pushed onto the pink elephant plate.
At least, I hope that was an elephant’s trunk.
My laptop, open on the kitchen table, pinged again. Two work emails already? It’s only 8 am.
Rushing to the corner cupboard, I pulled out the large box of dog biscuits and poured some into the dog bowl at my feet. The jangling of a dog’s collar sounded next to me, as my four-legged friend devoured every morsel.
Scambling with cups in the dishwasher, I shoved them into cupboards as my phone buzzed. Looking down at the illuminated screen on the countertop, I saw a photo of my friend. Swiping open the message, the caption read, “Is this too slutty to wear to work?”
I threw a handful of spoons into the cutlery drawer as I typed back, “Not if you’re working for tips.”
The middle finger emoji appeared instantly as I laughed and placed the phone back down. My laptop pinged again.
I’ve never wanted to slap something more.
