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HUMOR
I Have the Cock-A-Doodle-Do Disease
At least I got fake lip filler
“Did you get lip filler?”
“I don’t think so,” I replied. “Sounds like something I’d remember.”
“Well, your lips look huge,” my friend, Shelia replied, squinting at me as we pushed our daughters on the swings.
“What are you talking about?” I snapped as I pressed my fingers to my lips, noticing their new puffy texture.
“Are you having an allergic reaction? Do you have an epi-pen?” She asked.
“A freaking epi-pen? No. I have half a Band-Aid and one throat lozenge in my bag. I’m prepared for everything,” I said as I poked my bottom lip.
“I think it’s an ulcer. It feels tender. It’ll be fine,” I said, shrugging it off.
Shelia gave me the “you definitely have herpes” look as she followed her child to the slide.
The next day, I woke up with Kardashian lips. My first thought was that God had given me free lip filler. My second thought was that I had herpes and it probably came from the Kardashians.
I raced to the mirror to check out my new look and flinched when my palm collided with the light switch. As I turned my hand over, my eyes met the spotted and swollen appearance of my…
