Marital Separation

I Left My Husband So Our Baby Could Sleep

I Wish I Did It Sooner

Claire Franky
3 min readJan 11, 2023


Leaving was the best choice for her. Photo by Mike Kilcoyne on Unsplash

Our daughter slept in 30 to 60-minute increments, for the first 10 months of her life. By the time she reached 12 months old, she slept 12 uninterrupted hours a night. The only thing I had to change, was my marriage.

From the first night in the hospital, our baby girl was a terrible sleeper. It would take hours of feeding, rocking, and shushing to get her to sleep, only for her to wake up 30–60 minutes later. This pattern repeated itself all night, every night.

It was magical.

My husband (the baby’s father), refused to help at night, claiming he was too tired. He slept from 10 pm to 7 am every night and complained he was “tired” every morning.

This is why women live longer. They know not to say stupid shit like that.

So I hit the baby books, the articles, the blogs, the YouTube videos, video called family and friends, and spoke with the pediatrician. I got tons of advice and I tried it all. I tried hard. The different bedtimes, different routines, different nap schedules, different diets, different swaddles, different rooms, different sound machines, and Ewan the stupid sheep, all failed me. Nothing worked. Nothing.