Member-only story
HUMOR
I Lied, He Rewarded Me With Wine
Being a jerk has its perks
“Thanks,” I said as I swung the door shut, gripping the package in my hand.
I pulled at the plastic bag, ripped open a large hole, and pulled out two sickeningly pink dresses for my daughter. Sighing, I placed them on the couch anticipating the fashion show I’d have to endure once she got home from preschool.
Can’t wait to sing that bastard magic carpet song again while she admires herself in the mirror.
My fingers drummed on the table as I slid back into my chair and stared at the dozens of open tabs on my laptop screen. A new window popped up — an email. I clicked.
It was from the clothing company I’d ordered my daughter’s dresses from. The email confirmed a delivery had been made by “Jimmy” and asked if I wanted to rate the items.
Not now. Not ever.
As I returned to one of the multiple work tabs, I heard a revving noise outside. I ignored it, obviously, and continued my work.
After two minutes of repeated revving, I stood and wandered around the house looking out of windows for the source of the noise.
It was Jimmy.
