Member-only story
Another Monday
I Made an Assassination Attempt at Work
Unfortunately, I chickened out
“Happy Birthday!!!” A group of my coworkers screamed at me as I walked into the breakroom.
How did you shitfucks know?
“Oh my gosh, how did you guys find out it’s my birthday?” I asked.
Using my “pretend I don’t make you on The Sims and trap you in a dark room” voice.
“Charlotte told us!” They said between cheers.
Oh, that twat.
Charlotte ran towards me and wrapped her arms around me in a hug. She was my best work friend, I don’t know why. She was a fuck crumb. Our friendship lasted about a year before I kicked her dick to the curb.
When I was released from Charlotte’s arms, I scanned the room. Everybody started to scatter.
That’s it? You gathered for that?! Where’s my mother fucking cake?
Tonight, those fucker’s Sims are getting trapped in a swimming pool.
Two hours later, Julie, a coworker, scurried up to me in the hallway as I was walking aimlessly.
And pondering when would be a good time to ask for a raise.
