Member-only story
DATING
I Need a Man Who Looks Like My Ex
Second time’s a charm?
“Can I come over?”
Are you insane? It’s 9 PM on a Friday.
“Urm, it’s kind of late,” I replied.
“No, it’s not! I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”
I’ll definitely be asleep by then. The family portion of carbonara I ate an hour ago is making me woozy.
“Damn you! Fine,” I huffed and hung up the phone.
I glanced around my living room wondering what I could do to escape this middle-of-the-night visitor. Maybe I’ve got time to fill the street with barbed wire. And make barbed wire.
Alas, all I saw as I lay comatose on the couch, was coasters. Apparently, my mother thinks I need a set of four coasters for Christmas each year. I’m pretty sure coasters last sixty-seven years, so I’m not sure what she thinks I do with them.
Other than throw them at cyclists
A few minutes later, there was a rat-a-tat-tat at the door.
“I have Hepatitis,” I yelled at her from the window.
“Which type?” She yelled back.
Fuck. Which is the worst one?
“All of them!”
