Member-only story
DESPAIR SPRINKLED WITH SATIRE
I Need My Clingy Roommate to Move Out
He has other ideas
My eyes hesitantly flickered open at the sound of my screaming alarm. Pulling one arm out from under the covers, I slapped at my phone on the side table, willing it to shut its face hole.
Not now, Bitch.
After several attempts, I was greeted with the sweet sound of silence. Smiling to myself, I closed my eyes again and pulled my arm back into the warmth and safety of the covers.
A few seconds went by before I became aware of a tingling sensation in my legs, followed by the realization that my feet were missing. Propping myself up on an elbow and looking down the bed to see if a demon had stolen my body, I spotted Sammy, my dog. His seventy-pound body lay horizontally across my feet and ankles, making it impossible for me to move or feel anything from the knee down.
Fucks sake.
Unable to form words yet, I let my head fall back onto the pillow, then flailed around, swinging my body from side to side and shimming my dead legs as much as I could.
You know, in a sophisticated way.
After a few seconds, the wolf begrudgingly jumped off the bed, dramatically huffing and sighing as he went. I huffed and…
