HUMOR

I Thought We Had a Rom-Com Moment, He Thought I Was Weird

Another one bites the dust

These are the shoes I wore to the playground. Photo by Jared Sluyter on Unsplash

“Mommy, please go on the seesaw with me!”

I’d rather burst into flames.

“Why don’t you ask one of the other kids to go on with you?” I asked, scanning the playground for a victim.

“Nooo,” my three-year-old daughter wailed.

That’s fair. Talking to other people is well shit.

“Come on, Mommy,” she called as she ran over to the miniature toddler seesaw.

I sighed and trudged over to the seesaw, hoping it would implode.

It didn’t. Apparently, the government ignored my letter about implosion rewards for paying taxes.

“Sweetie, Mommy can’t really fit on this seesaw. It’s for really little kids.”

She stopped shuffling into place on the seat and looked up at me. “Yes you can, Mommy. You can do it.”

I smiled and threw myself into the opposite seat, then began to bounce my daughter up and down. She giggled happily as I engaged in the longest squat of my life, bouncing between a medium-depth squat and a “I’m going to be stuck down here for life” depth squat.