DATING FAIL

I Wanted a Date, I Didn’t Know It Came With a Side of Trauma

Life is full of bad surprises

Photo by Dollar Gill on Unsplash

I was standing in the grocery store when the first tear fell. Next to the yogurt. In my palm was the same brand of skinny vanilla that I used to buy a few years ago, when I was with him.

My daughter filled our basket with squeezy yogurt tubes as a scene played out in my mind. He grabbed the pot out of my hand and launched it at the kitchen wall. I jumped at the slapping sound. Yogurt dripped from every surface.

I placed the yogurt back on the store shelf.

Another tear fell. Then another.

Using the back of my hand, I wiped at my cheeks, willing it to stop.

How did he get into my head again?

After I left my ex-husband, my mind made connections to him all the time. Anything from a familiar yogurt pot to the sound of someone shouting placed me back in a moment with him.

It was exhausting. It was constant. But over time, it lessened until it stopped happening altogether. Until now.

The day in the grocery store was the first of many. Over the following weeks, memories replayed themselves on a loop in my head.