HUMOR

I Was Called a Girl at a Hardware Store

And I wasn’t even crying

Claire Franky
4 min readJul 8, 2024

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A hardware store is basically lamps, right? Photo by Joshua Rawson-Harris on Unsplash

“Mommy, where is the chocolate?” My two-year-old asked.

“I don’t think they sell chocolate here,” I replied as I stood dazed and confused in the middle of the hardware store.

“Why?” She asked in a whiny voice.

Because it’s a shithole.

“Because they sell other things,” I said, squeezing her hand and pulling her along another aisle.

“Pretty dresses?” She squealed in excitement.

“No. They sell screwdrivers and tape and overwhelmingly long pieces of wood.”

Which I assume is for jousting bitches.

“I don’t want sewdivers,” she replied.

Same, Kid. Same.

For some reason, I decided it was a good idea to redecorate my daughter’s bedroom by changing the blinds, filling a crack next to the window, painting the walls and trim, and hanging a new light fixture.

Unfortunately, when I made that decision, I forgot I was single. So instead of suggesting “we” redecorate and purposefully being annoying enough to make my husband want to do it by himself, I now have to actually do something.

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