Member-only story
I Was Shamed by a Checkout Girl
On my favorite day.
Sunday is binge day.
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday are eat lettuce days.
Friday and Saturday are eat lettuce and take a shot of wine when no one’s looking, days.
Sunday is binge day. That means that you are legally allowed to force as much sugary food into your mouth as humanly possible.
It is the only day worth living for.
This Sunday morning I headed to the store to stack up on my binge day treats. As usual, I grabbed a basket and a bag of kale.
The kale will later die at the back of my fridge.
As I browsed the store, I pretended to be interested in almonds and cauliflower. I stopped to ponder and nod at celery and chia seeds.
After some time, I glanced from side to side and when I was confident that no one was looking I snatched a cake and slid it under my bag of kale. I slid chocolate off the shelf and thrusted it in the basket. I slowly pinched the corner of a bag of popcorn, being careful not to rustle it, and laid it next to its sugary friends. Then I placed the kale on top of it all and casually strolled past the no-fat salad dressing.
Next, I began circling the self-checkout registers. I pretended to look at items on…
