I Was Turned Off by Her Berries

There were a lot of them

Claire Franky
4 min readFeb 19, 2024


Photo by Elena Koycheva on Unsplash

“Gooood morning!”

What in the living fuck is happening?

I glanced up at the noise. A tall woman wearing bright yellow overalls and purple boots stood next to me.

“Good morning,” I replied as she sat down on the floor next to me.

My daughter, who was sitting on my crossed legs, and I watched as the woman pushed a small suitcase in front of her.

“Have you been to this class before?” She asked as she unzipped her suitcase.

“Yes, but this is only our second week,” I answered wearily, waiting for the contents of the suitcase to be revealed.

Testicles? Deer meat? Nick Cannon’s weekly child support payments?

“This is our first time at this music class. We were going to a different one but the teacher wasn’t great,” she said.

Is the teacher in the suitcase?

“Brittaneigh! Brittaneigh!” The woman called as she scanned the room.

A toddler in a dragon costume stopped her ascent of the curtains and hurdled towards us.

“This is Brittaneigh and I’m Jane,” the woman smiled.