HUMOR

I Went for the Wine, I Left With Chicken Jizz

At least it was high in protein

Photo by Vincenzo Landino on Unsplash

“Oh, you brought wine! Good!” My friend, Jen, said as I stood in the entrance hall of her flat, holding a bottle of white.

“Just one bottle?” She added.

The keg’s out front.

“Don’t pretend you haven’t already got several bottles on ice,” I quipped.

She laughed. “Yeah, Processco. What’s this shit?” She said, grabbing the bottle from my hand.

“It’s literal shit,” I replied as I followed her into the kitchen.

“Ha! See, this is why I get the wine,” Jen boasted.

This is also why you get the STDs.

I scoffed. “I thought about really pissing you off and buying red.”

“You bitch!” Jen joked. “Watch out for the dog.”

What do…

A short howl sounded behind me. I turned in time to see the boxer dog bound towards me and headbutt me in the thigh. His wet, slobbery tongue traveled up my arm as I tried to scratch him behind the ears and calm him down.

“What’s going on? When did you get a dog?” I asked as Jen ignored my attempts to calm the thing while she poured wine into two long-stemmed glasses.