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HUMOR
I Went for the Wine, I Left With Chicken Jizz
At least it was high in protein
“Oh, you brought wine! Good!” My friend, Jen, said as I stood in the entrance hall of her flat, holding a bottle of white.
“Just one bottle?” She added.
The keg’s out front.
“Don’t pretend you haven’t already got several bottles on ice,” I quipped.
She laughed. “Yeah, Processco. What’s this shit?” She said, grabbing the bottle from my hand.
“It’s literal shit,” I replied as I followed her into the kitchen.
“Ha! See, this is why I get the wine,” Jen boasted.
This is also why you get the STDs.
I scoffed. “I thought about really pissing you off and buying red.”
“You bitch!” Jen joked. “Watch out for the dog.”
What do…
A short howl sounded behind me. I turned in time to see the boxer dog bound towards me and headbutt me in the thigh. His wet, slobbery tongue traveled up my arm as I tried to scratch him behind the ears and calm him down.
“What’s going on? When did you get a dog?” I asked as Jen ignored my attempts to calm the thing while she poured wine into two long-stemmed glasses.
