DIVORCING A NARCISSIST
I Won’t Let My Ex-Husband Win
He wins. Every damn time.
Each door I try to walk through, he’s built a wall behind blocking my exit. Each corner I turn, he’s left a trap for me to fall into. Each piece of rope I grab ahold of, he cuts.
All I want is a divorce. No money, no possessions, no agreements. Just a divorce.
And maybe to be 23 again.
I knew divorcing a narcissist would be hard. More than hard. Awful.
I’d read other’s stories, and I’d discussed it in forums. I knew what I was in for. I dreaded facing him so much that I delayed filing for divorce for months, trying to find the courage and the strength to take on the battle.
Eventually, I found that strength and I filed for divorce.
Then I sat back and I waited.
There was an initial uproar of him spewing hatred and venom but then, nothing.
I carefully proceeded forward, completing the necessary paperwork and following each rule, waiting for the dragon to resurface.
But he never did.
I rejoiced. I couldn’t believe how lucky I was in comparison to some of my online “divorced from a narcissist” friends who found every moment of the process intolerable. They faced constant fights, lies, and manipulation at every turn.
Not me. It had been a smooth ride and the finish line was in sight.
Until it wasn’t.
They told me I could get divorced without his compliance. They told me I had met the requirements. Until I hadn’t. Until they wanted more.
Who wants a straightforward answer when you can play charades?
Things changed and I needed his input. And he knew it.
He laughed. He used that information to try and manipulate and control me. I wouldn’t let him.
So then he hid. Hid behind walls and people that protected him.