DIVORCING A NARCISSIST

I Won’t Let My Ex-Husband Win

He’s won every battle but he won’t win the war

Claire Franky
3 min readDec 4, 2023

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Photo by Jandré van der Walt on Unsplash

He wins. Every damn time.

Each door I try to walk through, he’s built a wall behind blocking my exit. Each corner I turn, he’s left a trap for me to fall into. Each piece of rope I grab ahold of, he cuts.

All I want is a divorce. No money, no possessions, no agreements. Just a divorce.

And maybe to be 23 again.

I knew divorcing a narcissist would be hard. More than hard. Awful.

I’d read other’s stories, and I’d discussed it in forums. I knew what I was in for. I dreaded facing him so much that I delayed filing for divorce for months, trying to find the courage and the strength to take on the battle.

Eventually, I found that strength and I filed for divorce.

Cheese helped.

Then I sat back and I waited.

There was an initial uproar of him spewing hatred and venom but then, nothing.

Silence.

I carefully proceeded forward, completing the necessary paperwork and following each rule, waiting for the dragon to resurface.

But he never did.

I rejoiced. I couldn’t believe how lucky I was in comparison to some of my online “divorced from a narcissist” friends who found every moment of the process intolerable. They faced constant fights, lies, and manipulation at every turn.

Not me. It had been a smooth ride and the finish line was in sight.

Until it wasn’t.

They told me I could get divorced without his compliance. They told me I had met the requirements. Until I hadn’t. Until they wanted more.

Who wants a straightforward answer when you can play charades?

Things changed and I needed his input. And he knew it.

He laughed. He used that information to try and manipulate and control me. I wouldn’t let him.

So then he hid. Hid behind walls and people that protected him.

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