Member-only story
Ridiculous Life Lessons
I’m No Longer Getting Into Strange People’s Hot Tubs
Just Let Me Sit in a Chair
I made plans to go to my friend, Sarah’s house for a few drinks one evening. I was looking forward to a night off from the daily cluster fuck that is my life.
An hour before I left, Sarah called to say, “Bring your suit.”
Fucks sake. Here we go.
She added,
“Let’s go in the hot tub!”
Let’s not.
Reluctantly, I accepted Sarah’s invitation and sat in her outdoor trough as she excitedly told me about all of its knobs.
Not the good kind.
When I asked why she bought a hot tub instead of paying rent, she said stupid shit like, “It’s fun.”
Great fun. Now you can’t afford lettuce.
We sat and talked in her hot tub, much like we would have done if we were sitting in chairs like civilized people.
Apparently, I needed to be wearing string to hear her riveting tale about the nail salon and the mystery of her missing candlestick.
Fucking Sarahs.
