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Humor
Is an Amazon Package Better than Sex?
Yes
Both involve a lot of waiting around for something good to happen.
Both involve a hard object being slung at your door.
Both involve an emotionless transaction, followed by a sprinkle of shame.
But is an Amazon package better than sex?
Yes.
One thousand times, yes.
Amazon Package
Today, I’m waiting for an Amazon package to be delivered. The package has chips in it. Amazing chips that cannot be found in most stores.
After much deliberation, I decided it was time for a treat and loaded my Amazon cart the fuck up.
If you are a civilized person who hasn’t ordered snacks from Amazon, you won’t know that Amazon doesn’t like to sell snacks in appropriate-sized portions. They like to sell them in you’re-going-to-be-obese-sized portions.
My chips are sold in large/party sharing bags. And there are twenty sharing bags in the box I ordered. Which should last me a couple of months.
I give it eight days, tops.
Last night I lay awake in bed. I knew that the chip package would arrive in the morning. I checked my notifications. Nothing from…
