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HUMOR
My Daughter is Moving in With Shawn Mendes
Whoever the fuck that is
“How about The Little Mermaid?” I asked my three-year-old daughter as she laid on the couch surrounded by her stuffed animals.
She shook her head.
“Cinderella? Frozen? What do you want to watch, Kid?” I asked, trying to keep my tone pleasant.
And failing.
“I want the green man,” she muffled into her blanket.
I nodded and selected Netflix as she slurped on her apple juice box.
She’d been sick for a couple of days with yet another wintery virus and was milking every moment of couch time.
“Stop,” she demanded as I scrolled through the depths of Netflix for The Grinch.
“What? I’m looking for The Grinch. The green man….” I trailed off.
“No, I want that one please,” she said, pointing to the screen.
“There are like sixteen movies on the screen right now. Which one?” I asked.
“The crocodile one,” she said as though it was obvious.
I turned back to the screen, scanning it for a crocodile.
“Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile…” I read aloud.
