Controversial Humor

My Husband Failed AA on His First Day

I Didn’t Know That Was Possible

Claire Franky
4 min readJul 17, 2023


Is he even trying to stop? Photo by Taylor Brandon on Unsplash

My eyes fluttered open at the sound of a piercing cry. My daughter was awake.


I dragged myself out of bed and over to her bassinet. I thanked her for the forty-five minutes of sleep we had just had.

Why spoil ourselves with sixty minutes?

I looked over at the clock and saw it was 6:30 am.

After a long, tearful goodbye to my bed, I carried my then five-month-old daughter into the hallway. The spare room door was open and the bed was empty.

My husband had been sleeping in the spare room for the last few weeks.

Because he was a tit.

He insisted on staying up half the night drinking, then stumbling into the bedroom at 2 am, knocking over things, walking into walls, and falling on the dog. Which, shockingly, woke the baby.

And brought back too many memories of my club days.

So, I sent his ass packing. I hoped for Canada but settled for the spare room.

Wondering whether my husband had gone out, was streaking through the front yard, or had moved into a tent outside with a raccoon named Terry…