HUMOR
Our Neighbor Made Us Pay for What We Did to Her
She didn’t like hearing “No”
I pulled off the highway and yawned into my steering wheel while waiting at the red light. It had been a long week and I was ready for my Friday evening to begin.
Finally reaching my neighborhood, a calmness washed over me knowing that a few stress-free hours were ahead. I turned into my driveway as something caught my eye. Glancing over at my house, I saw what it was, and my calmness was chased away by anger.
She was on my porch, waiting for me.
“Hi,” she said, approaching me as I slammed my car door. “Can you order me a pizza when you order one for you?”
Fuck no, Freeloader.
“Sorry, I don’t have enough money for pizza,” I lied.
“I’ll give you some cash.”
Oh, we’re starting the bullshitting early today.
“We might not even have pizza tonight. It’s probably best if you order your own,” I said, forcing a polite smile and strolling by her.
“I don’t know how,” she said in her best victim voice.
“Really?” I asked. “We’ve shown you how to do it several times. The pizza place is saved in your phone and they have your address on file…
