Member-only story
Moms Gone Wild
Our Play Date Ended in Crime
It wasn’t what we signed up for
I tried hard not to repeatedly smack my head into the wall as the soft music played and toddlers in tutus ran in circles, letting our war cries and hurling ribbons.
It was my toddler’s ballet class.
A perfect setting for a condom commercial.
While I sat back in despair, watching my child try not to get bulldozed by her classmate, Martha, whose vocabulary consisted of, “Ahhhhhhh,” I wondered what in the blithering fuck I was doing there.
Other than avoiding emptying the dishwasher.
As I contemplated whether to spend my paycheck on getting my car serviced or spaghetti, a soft voice whispered in my ear.
“Do you like pumpkins?”
Do you like being a creepy fuck?
I turned to my left to see one of the other moms had crawled over to sit next to me. It was the mom who spoke in a soft, high-pitched voice and often wore a sweater with the peace symbol on. We had never spoken outside of polite greetings but she seemed friendly.
“Excuse me?” I asked.
“Do you and your daughter like pumpkins?” She replied.
