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HUMOR

Santa Swindled Me Out of Forty Bucks

I should have read the small print but the small print is for nerds

Claire Franky

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A Santa Claus figurine placed on a log outside.
Happy little slut. Photo by Laurent Peignault on Unsplash

“Are you ready to meet Santa?” An excitable knobhead wearing elf ears asked my three-year-old daughter.

“Yes, please,” my daughter beamed.

“Ok, come this way,” the elf beckoned as she approached a large wooden door.

“Will we be able to come back in here to play?” I asked.

“Absolutely,” she replied. “The magic never ends.”

Alright Titslap, settle down.

“Elf Kingdom is open to all smiling children,” she added in an even higher pitch.

Yes, all smiling children who paid forty bucks.

My daughter moved to the wooden door and I reluctantly followed, leaving Santa’s sleigh, elf houses, a Christmas tree maze, and two reindeer behind.

After passing through one door, we approached a second covered in fairy lights. A gasp escaped my daughter’s mouth as she clasped her little hands to her mouth. She gazed up at the lights while the elf encouraged her to knock on the door.

Cautiously, she stepped forward and tapped on the door with her knuckles, then span around and dove behind my arm.

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