Member-only story
HUMOR
She Shamed My Sweater, So I Stole Her Play-Doh
An eye for an eye
“Do you like that top?” My three-year-old daughter asked as I stepped into the living room.
Why are you always awake?
I paused and sighed as her eyes danced over my light blue sweater.
“Yes, I do,” I replied somewhat confidently, knowing I was about to be shamed.
“I don’t,” she stated.
Fantastic.
“Well, I like it and that’s all that matters,” I said as I strode by her into the kitchen.
I’ll be burning the sweater at sunset.
I heard her feet slapping across the floor behind me.
“Which cereal would you like today?” I asked, pulling a bowl out of the cupboard.
She paused briefly, then said, “You could wear a dress.”
You could live somewhere else.
I turned to face her. She stared at me, her forehead crinkled.
“I don’t want to wear a dress today. I have to bath the dog. Now, which cereal would you like?”
She placed her forefinger on her chin and glanced at the ceiling, pretending to consider her options, knowing full well she would choose Raisin Bran.
