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She’s the Best Drama Queen I’ve Met
Give her a crown.
My mother-in-law’s narcissism fills every room that she enters. During my pregnancy and the first ten months of my baby’s life, I lived next door to her. Her drama was a regular occurrence.
My phone buzzed as I curled up in the rocking chair with my four-week-old baby. I ignored the phone.
Five minutes later, the phone buzzed again.
I glanced at the phone. Two texts from the narc (my mother-in-law).
Not now Satan!
Another buzz.
Jog on.
Another buzz.
Ok, maybe she’s dying.
I unlocked the phone.
She was not even a little bit dying.
The messages read, “I need bread.” “I haven’t had any lunch!” “I’m really hungry and I only have bananas.” “Why are you ignoring me?”
Because I don’t give a monkey’s fuck.
I messaged her asking, “Is something wrong with your car?”
Her response: “No.”
I had a good chuckle, lay the baby in her bassinet, threw my phone into the fire, and celebrated the sweet sound of Netflix’s “dung-dung”.
