DATING | HUMOR
The Guy She’s Dating is Only a Little Bit Married
Ignorance is bliss
“I brought white and red. Which shall we open first?” My college friend, Jen said as she strolled into my house grasping a bottle of wine in each hand.
Well, I was planning on faking a badger-themed emergency in thirty minutes so how about we save time by drinking from the bottle?
“White,” I said, following her to my kitchen.
“You’ve had a fun day,” Jen said, nodding to the paint-covered kitchen table.
I rolled my eyes and groaned at the mess my toddler had created. “Oh, yeah, it’s been magical.”
“That’s why I don’t want kids,” she said. “I like to keep my house clean.”
The last time I visited your house, your couch was covered in nail polish but ok.
She prattled on about her “asshole boss” while I pulled wine glasses from the cabinet and filled them generously with white wine.
I grabbed one of the glasses and pulled it to my lips before gulping back half the glass.
Jen and I used to be close but we’ve drifted apart, mostly because she’s a knob. She is only interested in talking to me when she can show off. It’s usually a new job, a new look, or a new…
