DATING | HUMOR

The Guy She’s Dating is Only a Little Bit Married

Ignorance is bliss

Claire Franky
4 min readOct 8, 2024

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Couple embracing.
His ironed shirt is giving off married vibes. Photo by henri meilhac on Unsplash

“I brought white and red. Which shall we open first?” My college friend, Jen said as she strolled into my house grasping a bottle of wine in each hand.

Well, I was planning on faking a badger-themed emergency in thirty minutes so how about we save time by drinking from the bottle?

“White,” I said, following her to my kitchen.

“You’ve had a fun day,” Jen said, nodding to the paint-covered kitchen table.

I rolled my eyes and groaned at the mess my toddler had created. “Oh, yeah, it’s been magical.”

“That’s why I don’t want kids,” she said. “I like to keep my house clean.”

The last time I visited your house, your couch was covered in nail polish but ok.

She prattled on about her “asshole boss” while I pulled wine glasses from the cabinet and filled them generously with white wine.

I grabbed one of the glasses and pulled it to my lips before gulping back half the glass.

Jen and I used to be close but we’ve drifted apart, mostly because she’s a knob. She is only interested in talking to me when she can show off. It’s usually a new job, a new look, or a new…

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