Twenty Dollars and a Tight Dress Will Get Me a House

Apparently, that’s the way to get it done

Claire Franky
3 min readNov 13, 2023


Photo by Cleyton Ewerton on Unsplash

“Did you get it yet?”

“Yes, it came today. Thank you!” I said with fake enthusiasm.

That’s an appropriate phone call length. Pretty sure I can hang up now.

“And you got the money?” She asked.

“I got the money. Thank you, Dor…Grandma,” I stuttered.

Shit. Keep it together.

My Grandma has always been heartless. She has long been despised by most who meet her and has struggled to show love or kindness to anyone. As a result, our family all call her by her name, Dorothy when she is not around. We stick with “Grandma” when we’re in her presence.

Out of fear, mostly.

“Good,” Dorothy responded. “Now how are you going to spend it?”

It’s twenty bucks for fucks sake. I’ll probably put it in a stripper’s g-string.

“Oh, I’ll add it to my savings,” I stated while clenching my phone, hoping it would disintegrate just like my hopes and dreams.

“Well, it will help you buy a house, I’m sure.”